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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Marriage Issues Related To Chronic Pain


Below is the article I wanted to share, after living with RSD/CRPS now for almost 11 years, my husband John and I have had our share of problems, and have we've even discussed divorce a few times. Life with RSD is not easy for us with it, but I think we do need to try and remember to be more patient with those we love. I hope you enjoy this, for more information see their web site http://www.families-and-chronic-pain.com/index.html

Marriage issues are one of the most important issues for a couple dealing with chronic pain. Couples are together more and ‘my time’ and ‘my space’ is disrupted. You are used to things as they were and everything has changed.
The love is there, but the space is gone. You ultimately spend more time together now and with the chronic pain. It makes a significant change in the relationship that wasn’t there before.

Marriage issues arise in many different ways. I know every relationship is different but there are some factors that need to be considered.

Due to the chronic pain, the effect on your relationship will be due, to the intensity and frequency of the pain as well as the severity of the disability. For someone with the occasional migraine headache, the impact is minimal.

Those that sustain a severe injury and are in constant pain, this is different. Things are very different. They are unable to work, they feel like they have let their family down and the pain is a constant reminder. This can cause a significant change in your lifestyle.

Remember that, no two couples will cope with the same situation in the same way. Some will find it more than they can handle and question whether, they will be able to cope with the stress this will bring on them and the family. Others will take it all in stride and adjust to the changes with ease. It just depends on the couple.

Communication in marriage is so important for it’s survival. Without it , the silent treatment will occur and very little can be accomplished. An unhappy marriage is always fixable. You can get couples therapy, visiting with your clergy, individual therapy, bend a friends ear or just sit down and have a good cry.

Having a church family to depend on, also helps. Friends in a church family could be the ones that will help you the most. They are good listeners and will do anything to help. They will hold you when you cry and rejoice with you in times of victory.
TALK, TALK, TALK
Never, ever let communication be used as a weapon. Silence is not golden in this situation, unless divorce is the outlet you want to follow.

No one really has the right answers to marriage problems but, chronic pain will surely test the strength of a marriage.

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